The two of us
were standing at the bar this one time during a rare event at which we worker
bees could socialize with our superiors.
“So,” my manager
asked me, “where do you want to go in this business? What job would you like to
have?”
I, a beginner,
had no idea. I gave some generic reply, because I had never thought of anything
like that. Didn’t think about it after that exchange, either.
Until two or
three years later when that manager was promoted. I put in for the job, and as
far as I knew I was the only person in the place who did.
Then weeks
passed, and I heard nothing.
I had a pretty
good relationship with another senior manager, and I thought he might be in on
the decision. Eventually, I asked him what was going on, and got a painfully
noncommittal response.
After a long
hiatus, they brought in someone from the outside to fill the position.
A few months later, things hadn’t worked out. The new guy left and – finally -- I got the job. I went through hell learning how to handle the demanding work, but eventually got reasonably good at it.
I wasn’t happy,
though, about the way that place was run. After a couple of years of periodic
battling with the boss, I was dumped. Or maybe I jumped. Anyway, it was messy –
and it was over.
That story is loaded with examples of
missed opportunities and botched negotiations. A glittering proof of Chester
Karrass’ iconic remark, “In business as in life, you don’t get what you deserve
– you get what you negotiate.”
And,
unfortunately, it was not an isolated case. While I now negotiate just about
every step of the way as an independent consultant, back then my conventional
career continued pretty much the same way for nearly a quarter-century more.
Among countless
examples is one many years later. Now a veteran newspaper editor, I was
interviewed three times in one month by two other longtime editors. We
covered a lot of ground and concluded it would be a good fit.
Well, it wasn’t. The
kind of newspaper office they ran competed strongly for worst among the seven
or eight I bounced among in that career.
There is a predictable
syndrome involving one’s 90th day in a new place of employment. Just
about at that three-month point, reality comes through at both ends of the
relationship.
There is inevitably
a rosy glow for a while at the start. Then, just as the new
person comes to see the shortfalls in management, policy, performance and relationships,
the employer comes face-to-face with this person’s limitations.
Happened to me in
the job with the three interviews. The 90-day thud. Not a crash, usually in
such situations, but some culminating event or dawning of understanding after
the weeks of experience with each other.
Turns out the three of us had played
our parts well enough to launch a relationship. Also turns out that there was
an overpowering back story that could only become known through experience –
unless the right questions had been asked in the beginning.
And you can’t ask
the right questions if you never think of them, and you don’t think of them if
your fundamental attitude doesn’t include the questioning function, a fundamental skill of good negotiators.
In the event,
there is no substitute for experience. You can’t know enough upfront about what
the other actors in a situation really know, expect, and what they believe they have committed themselves to.
There’s no way
for you to truly grasp what they see and understand about you, and how well
they are listening and expressing themselves to you.
You account for
it all moment to moment, day to day and over time as your career unrolls in
this new environment. If it begins to repeat unhappy earlier experiences, maybe
you should re-examine how you are going about this project called “my life.”
We often don’t
realize that much of what is going on with us results from acts of negotiation –
often very poorly done at our end. What am I offering, what am I accepting and
what is happening to the relationship with each “transaction?”
Your
understanding changes radically once you accept the idea that your employment
life is one long negotiating matrix, with numerous exchanges every day and huge ones
at times of career change.
Each opening of a new chapter is a
subordinate negotiation in the (mis?)management of one’s career.
Even the intricacies of your day can reveal how it's going to go, even as they contribute or diminish the accumulating value you desire.
Think for a
moment about your attitude toward your co-workers, on a personal level. Take the
ones who greet you cheerily in the morning, listen attentively when you address
them, respond quickly and usefully when you ask for something
How do you feel
about them?
The managers who
always have time for you, take action when something needs fixing, share with
you reasonable expectations about your work. The ones who competently master scary/messy matters and forthrightly make tough decisions?
When any of those
people want something from you, what is your initial reaction? No way? Why
should I? Of course not. In a pleasant,
constructive way, you feel obligated to those people. They have negotiated a
productive relationship with you.
Those folks have
done for you, and, to put it bluntly you’re grateful. If they want something
that is within your power to give, accommodating them is at the top of your
priority list. They negotiated well.
You want to
conduct yourself that way in the workplace. Make people happy to have you
around. Aim to develop in them a strong desire to help you out. In short, negotiate
productive relationships. Bonus: Life is a lot more enjoyable.
Negotiation in career
management takes that concept to a far broader and more complex
level.
If you view your worklife through the
eyes of its chief negotiator, it looks a lot different than it does from the
viewpoint of a serial supplicant for employment.
You don’t build a
career by seeking one job after another. You can’t do it, either, on hope that
some stranger will consider you worthy of a paycheck.
As a negotiator,
you’re not just looking for your next job, or a way out of your current fiscal
hole. You’re seeking, developing and pursuing options for the next tactical
move in the management of a strategic initiative.
You are dealing
in a marketplace where values are exchanged. Parties come together to seek
suitable return on investment. A variety of items including talent, experience,
knowledge and energy are offered in return for money, security, support and
respect.
And, when you’re
thinking properly, career advancement.
When you win a
job, you have established an agreement. You will provide services of a
specified sort in return for rewards of a defined amount.
That agreement
makes you a partner, not a servant. It is important that you thoroughly clarify
the expectations at both ends of the agreement. Once you have done that, go for it. Do the
job, evaluate the return. Track performance – in both directions.
You’re a partner.
Act like one. Negotiate. That’s how you get what you deserve.
See also: Building Alliances
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