This guy had
something of a problem. He wandered through the crowded social event, approaching
women with an intense stare, mumbling something and scaring the hell out of
them. They all reacted in ways that drove him off, but he stayed on the
hunt.
No one knew what
to do. People went over to the organization’s president, urging/demanding that
he do something. He would say, “Yeah, I’m going right over there.” But he didn’t
move.
Someone else,
realizing nothing was going to happen unless someone did something, did something. He went up to the
problem person, spoke quietly to him and took him gently, firmly by the elbow. There
was no resistance as he guided the fellow out the door and drove him home.
Well, actually,
there was something to it. Dozens of people had been standing right there. Some
looked the other way, some couldn’t stop staring – but only one person acted in
an effective way. Why? Why didn’t the only person with formal responsibility –
the organization’s president – do anything?
Only one person
acted because the unexamined prospect of doing so seemed too daunting to
everyone else. It would have been just too hard. Better to just hope somebody will
take care of it before it gets worse. Call the police? Well, he’s not really
doing anything. Maybe we should just leave.
Welcome to the deceptive reality of
the so-called “soft skills.” Knowing what to do – and actually doing it – in a
very dicey human situation are in the skills category called “soft.” In the
case of the disruptive guest, the “soft” thing was too tough for dozens of
people to even contemplate. Maybe not quite so soft.
The person who
saved the day didn’t have to employ conflict management skills, because he had
the wisdom, the confidence and the communication ability to detect and evaluate
potential conflict, and nip it in the bud.
It’s quite likely
the man also had thought ahead about such situations, and had decided the steps
to take when one presented itself. So add “thinking ahead” to the bulging kit
bag of non-hard skills.
When people lay
out separate lists of skills, the “hard” ones include subject-matter knowledge
arising from formal education/training/experience – how to speak the lingo, use the tools, run
the machines, apply the procedures.
Everything not directly required for making
the widgets defaults into the “soft” category. Included are leading, following, thinking,
communicating (listening, talking, persuading). Problem-solving and the general
ability to understand might be on this side, or maybe somewhere in between.
Sort of also-rans in the consideration.
There is much
talk these days about how to prepare our young people, as well as our unemployed
and underemployed adults, for the well-paying jobs that are replacing the ones
lost in a changing economy.
The overwhelming tide of opinion seems
to read “Science, Technology, Engineering, Math – STEM.” Let’s get everybody up
to speed on these most definable of skills and we’ll all be riding a mighty
wave of wealth and prosperity.
Oh, really? How
are these hard-skilled types going to lead, read, write, listen, talk,
communicate, argue, persuade? We’ve all personally lived the horror of
attempting to get things done in the company of single-minded people who are
superb at doing tasks but are impossible to put up with.
More broadly – and
realistically – how are they going to vote wisely, if they vote at all, and
otherwise participate in a free society? Our system will collapse when too many
of its occupants have no idea of the importance of citizenship, or even how to
practice it. Citizenship means understanding and debating issues, showing up in
efforts to improve the community, supporting causes and candidates, conducting
campaigns yourself.
So maybe it’s NOT
all about just knowing how to do a job and earn a paycheck.
Things already
are sagging noticeably in the United States as too many of us lay back on our own concerns, leaving smallish bands of
fanatics to battle over selfish, narrow, non-negotiable positions in
determining public policy. Their outcomes will come back on all of us, you can
be sure.
Don’t these
people, the uninvolved ones as well as the ferocious scorched-earthers, know what
happens when you behave that way?
No, they don’t,
because they don’t know history and literature. They don’t see how that is going
to get them jobs. And how do you explain to them the higher human values
nurtured and enhanced by the visual and performing arts?
The apparent,
frightening, majority conclusion: All that stuff costs too much. We don’t need
it.
Costs too much? Compared to what? Our
priorities rise directly from our values.
If it’s important
to you that there be a functional environment at your social event, within your
project, in your workplace or throughout your nation, do you need soft skills
to make sure that happens?
Do you need soft
skills to personally make sure, if it’s your job, that the right things happen?
What will you do if the people whose job it is don’t take care of it?
How can you deal
with all this that if you are ineffective at the human processes of
communication, collaboration and leadership? And, if you’re not up to the
challenge, how do you repair the shortfall?
And why would you
bestir yourself to work at acquiring and perfecting all that, anyway?
Because you
understand history, that’s why. And because you have read the fiction and nonfiction
that so profoundly reveal to you your situation as a human being. Now you
understand. You know about the various possibilities of human life, good and
bad.
When you have the
confidence and the competence to smoothly and respectfully handle a minor
public disruption, you thereby have all the equipment you need to resolve a
major human problem in the workplace.
The personal challenge
for each of us can’t get harder than intense confrontation with other humans.
Each such situation is extremely difficult in the moment for the person who is
enmeshed in it. Big nasty things, little nasty things. When you’re there, they
are pretty much equally tough.
The skills are
silky soft to the touch, but underneath they are powerful, utterly unshakable. Soft
competence is hard, very hard, to acquire. But, if you really want to get
somewhere, nothing else is tough enough to get you all the way there.
See also: Conflict
No comments:
Post a Comment